Are You a Bastard?

Neal Boulton, former Men’s Fitness editor, believes that we are all bastards. His new online magazine/blog , BastardLife.com, is for the pansexual man who needs help with “the vice of manhood.” What the hell does that even mean?

Launched Oct. 18, BastardLife claims to be a guide for men navigating a brave, new world of sex.  Boulton sees his “bastard” inhabitants as a very kinky man who doesn’t care whom he has sex with, be it men, women, transvestites, transsexuals, or transgender. When the site launched, it featured full pieces such as how to tell if your girl is actually a guy, advice on helping women achieve orgasm from a lesbian, and the lowdown on what erections really are.

Only a few weeks in, however, BastardLife seems to be running out of material. Boulton updates the new men’s magazine daily; almost everything is posted under his user name.  Most of the pieces are also written by Boulton despite a masthead that makes it seem that there are more contributors to this magazine. When an editor does jump in and contribute to the magazine, the pieces are usually short and dull.  You’ll get mostly narratives or first hand accounts of sexual experiences or of just being a bastard.  Like reminiscing with an old friend about how before you were married to your wife you cruised for older men. They usually read like a diary entry or a letter to Playboy.  Sometimes you’ll get a couple of interview pieces and Boulton always throws in a tip or two at the end.

The site seems more concerned with showcasing naughty photos. You might see something like a half naked woman leaning on a copy machine sniffing men’s underwear.  Sexy?  The site has a section called “Women We Love/Men We Love” that offers a photo of both sexes in provocative poses and then some witless caption.  One shows Victoria Beckham writhing on a car hood in front of her husband David; the caption reads, “… who feels Victoria Beckham is still a bit hot?”  Um, no one? Next question.

And let’s call it what it is: a glorified blog. You can search through the headlines or tags but there is no way to navigate the site unless you scroll back through the pages.  The content is labeled under feature sections that repeat throughout the blog, but there is no method to the madness on this site.  Feel free to write an email to Boulton or any of his other editors.  The masthead/contact list might be the only thing you can actually navigate through.

BastardLife thinks it’s helping men live the bastard lifestyle.  I suspect that real pansexual men will come to a different conclusion – namely, thanks for nothing.

- Cindia Gonzalez

Changing, but Still Rolling

Rolling Stone magazine continues to wear its politics on its sleeve… and on its covers.

 In the line of the magazine’s tradition of covers of Democratic presidential candidates (ranging from George McGovern, Rolling Stone Magazine Vol. 110, June 8, 1972, to John Kerry Rolling Stone Magazine Vol. 961, November 11, 2004), the lastest issue of Rolling Stones (October 30, 2008) features Barack Obama on its cover for the third time in seven months (“a record equaled only by John Lennon,” says Jann Wenner, the magazine’s founder, publisher, and editor).  

But more than anything, by endorsing Obama, the publication endorsed the idea of change.

In fact, with this issue, Rolling Stone changed to a new format, reducing its trademark large size to the dimensions of the standard magazine.

The move, Wenner hints in the Editor’s Notes, was necessary: while the large format of the magazine has stood out on magazine racks for more than three decades now, its single-copy sales have fallen from 189,000 in 1999, to 132,000 last year.

The expectation here is that the new rack-friendly format will help raise newsstand sales.

Vanity Fair, for example has a standard magazine format and a lower overall circulation than Rolling Stone, but boasts nearly three times the single-copy sales.

RS also improved its paper quality, substituting pulp paper for glossy.

There is much to be gained from the changes in terms of advertising, sales, and aesthetics.

But before even opening the magazine I couldn’t help feeling a bit nostalgic and apprehensive. By abandoning its significantly taller and larger format (10 by 11 3/4 inches), Rolling Stone had certainly lost something, something that made it recognizable and distinctive.

Will it still read the same? Will it still feel the same?

A symbolic baby boomer and the only person inducted in both the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the American Society of Magazine Editors’ Hall of Fame, Wenner explains that the DNA remains intact.

As the media and cultural landscape is enduring seismic shifts, the nation’s biggest music magazine seems to have evolved and transitioned along, and it remains both a reflection and an interpreter of its time.

Also, the move from saddle stitched to perfect binding adds a more grown-up look to a publication that went from celebrity and pop culture reporting in the 1990s to winning awards for articles on topics from Iraq to presidential politics (“Man Who Sold The War,” by James Bamford in 2006, and “The Killer Elite,” by Evan Wright in 2004, both National Magazine Awards, the Oscars of the magazine business).

In this issue, “The Schooling of Nick Jonas,” by Jenny Eliscu, p. 82, adheres to the magazine’s longstanding reputation as a bastion of serious musical criticism; “Can the Republicans Steal the Election?” by Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and Greg Palast, p. 65, is emblematic of RS’ seminal voice of angst and iconoclasm and investigative and political coverage; “The Last Days of David Wallace,” by David Lipsky, p.100, is one of the longest and most moving piece RS has published this year, and a reminder that the publication is a haven for long-form, exploratory journalism.

Overall bouncy, verbose, and hard-hitting the new format, like the man it features on its cover, will appeal to a vast demographic, while preserving the core elements of the magazine.

Adeniyi Amadou

Dude, where’s my cover story?

 

         Welcome to the world of man-gazines. A realm of testosterone-fueled words and images, designed to cater to every fancy of the straight guy. So you have trashy women, alcohol, men’s fashion, trashy women, sex, lifestyle, gadgets and trashy women, all under one roof. (Did I mention the trashy women?)

         There is no real difference between the international editions of GQ and GQ India – the Indian edit team has done a good job of adapting essential GQ values and style to the Indian demographic. Thus, GQ India delivers all that is expected and true to its name, does it like a gentleman. Which, literally translated, means that the women aren’t as trashy, and the only people who can afford the featured clothes and accessories are Middle Eastern oil barons and Bill Gates. For Indian Joe, the office clerk, GQ represents only aspirations.

         So there is MTV India’s newest hottie, VJ Mia, draped in a bed sheet dispensing sex advice, and there’s Charlize Theron, um, draped in a bed sheet, dispensing sex appeal. Then there is the titillating Chastity Fernandes, (a fictitious tease created to dole out sex advice from the perspective of an Indian female) draped in a sari, advocating sex in the same. There is a lot of general draping of females in gauzy material and surprise, surprise, lots of sex.

         Watches, designer underwear, rock music, and alcohol fill in the gaps, as men are taught both how to wear a suit and how not to get champagne on it. (Politics is conspicuous by its absence.) The magazine is basically a circle jerk of elitist Indian metrosexuals affirming their masculinity and fabulousness through guy talk, who’ve got together to announce their greatness to the world. In short, it’s a man magazine. And not half bad at that.

          Now, the cover has three men most Indian men want to be and three women most Indian men want to bed – a perfect setting for some stimulating conversation. Which is why you are sorely disappointed when you turn the pages excitedly to read the cover story, and all you find is five sentences wrapped around an elaborate photo shoot. Sure, there are models prancing around in the pool of a five star hotel, and men in white flashing their nipples (which can’t be too appropriate for a straight guy magazine, come to think of it.) But three quotes from three celebs maketh a cover story not. Where is the meat in the cover story, I ask the makers of GQ India. Where is the one-upmanship and light-hearted banter expected from three of the most desirable and influential Indian men? I expected more, and I feel let down. Bad man-gazine! Very bad!

          All I ask for is a better cover story the next time round (and $10,000 in cash, but that’s irrelevant here.) Also some politics, serious issues and a little depth, because even though men are many things, there is no need to portray them solely as sex-crazed, materialistic maniacs.

 –  Anuya Jakatdar 

Barack and Roll

 

Yes We Can

Weeks before Barack Obama’s electoral landslide, Rolling Stone chose his 47-year-old smiling face to adorn the debut issue of the 41-year-old magazine’s makeover.  The result, dated Oct. 30, hit the newsstands days before the historical election.  It’s all about change, dear readers.  But is it change we can believe in?

   Rolling Stone’s change starts with a reduction in its size from tabloid to a classic magazine format.  Publisher Jann Wenner claims that this will make room for more pages of music news, Random Notes, reviews, and political coverage.  Wenner hopes that more pages equal more revenue, but adding more pages during a plummeting economy seems illogical. 

Regardless, strategically placing Obama on the cover of this transformational issue illustrates Rolling Stone’s endorsement of the change Obama represents as president-elect. 

Obama spoke with Rolling Stone executive editor Eric Bates to give insight into what makes him tick.   On Oct. 3, the day of the interview, Obama celebrated his 16^th wedding anniversary with his wife Michelle. He bought her a necklace, but said he couldn’t predict if she would like it.  Discussing such details while promoting Obama’s plans to address the economic crisis and withdraw U.S. troops out of Iraq shows readers a fuller picture of the man, not just the candidate. For example, Obama showed his sense of humor when sharing that he was often teased by his campaign staff about an old pair of brown shoes he couldn’t seem to retire. 

Rolling Stone intertwines candid moments with Obama and his desire to change how the people’s business is done.  One change Obama wants is to increase volunteerism by expanding AmeriCorps and the Peace Corps.  Obama also explains how Americans can stop hogging as much energy by turning off their lights, checking tire gauges, and being more conscious of their everyday role in preservation.

Rolling Stone depicts Obama at times as a scholar – teaching constitutional law in 2002 at University of Chicago – and others as a regular Joe – stopping for ice cream on the campaign trail with running mate Joe Biden. 

 So the insights are intimate, but the overall effect lacks punch. Obama was intended to be an historic and profitable choice for the cover, but it feels like the old Rolling Stone in new clothes.  It could’ve included more articles that expand on Obama’s interview by incorporating stories about the economy, volunteerism, and environmental preservation. 

If its goal was to be a new magazine for a new era, Rolling Stone missed its mark.  The cover is symbolic, but its pages lacked the same symbolic evolution of the cover. This was a chance to fill the pages with an edgy and new look into politics from start to finish.  Yes You Can? More like No, You Didn’t. 

 –Alysia Satchel

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Red, White, & Vogue

The nation is at a turning point in politics and policy, and what better time for Vogue to get in touch with its patriotic side? The magazine has consistently featured prominent men and women from politics, but the November issue had that and so much more.  Vogue provided money-saving tips for the sour economy, and dressed the whole issue in our nation’s colors.

 

The cover featured all-American girl Reese Witherspoon, who was placed full mast with lips painted red and ivory shoulders bare in a strapless blue silk dress. Not to mention her shining blue eyes, which invited any warm-blooded American to stop and flip through the magazine.

 

Vogue captured Witherspoon while doing a photo shoot in Paris for designer Nina Ricci. Her past and current co-stars sang her praises while Witherspoon sang a few, literally. 

 

Writer Robert Sullivan validated the actress’ singing ability and touched on her memorable performance as the legendary June Carter Cash. Her portrayal in the movie “Walk the Line” won her an Oscar, and a new level of respect in the world of cinema.

 

How much more American can you get, when you talk about June Carter Cash and the Man in Black?

 

Since patriots are far more money conscious than in years past, Vogue certainly took notice and included headlines that were rather different compared to the last few issues. One article was focused on the “wallet conscious” and the other was for someone “shopping on a budget.” And, correct me if I’m wrong, but the big, bold, red cover line “Brighten Up!” sounds as much about surviving the economic crisis as jazzing up your wardrobe.

 

Inside, Vogue Editor in Chief Anna Wintour used her pre-election editor’s note to point out how the magazine has featured several political women such as future first lady Michelle Obama, Sen. Hillary Clinton, Cindy McCain, and in November’s issue, Jill Biden. Wintour also reflected on a piece about Gov. Sarah Palin that ran in February, which turned out to be one of the few sources the country had on her when she was first announced as the GOP vice presidential candidate.

 

In this month’s FOB, Vogue informed readers where both parties took their fashion cues from.  Michelle Obama and Cindy McCain were featured a few times each in the issue because their fashion was all the chatter and each lady respectively scored big on the style watch. 

 

The magazine also offered an inside look into Vice President Elect Joe Biden’s family and more specifically, the women in his life that have inspired him.   

 

Hands down, this was one of our most historic elections ever, and Vogue was smart enough to see that even before the results were in.

 

Despite the current state of the economy and the nation’s struggle to cope, Vogue decided to provide a few money saving ideas and a window into the world of one of America’s sweethearts to lighten the load we bear, and spread some patriotic cheer.

 

God bless America and its glossies.

 

 

-  Farah Pike

 

 

 

Cosmo Exposed

 

 

Cosmopolitan has graduated. It has taken sexual obsession to new heights. The November issue is borderline porn with heds such as “Bad Girl Sex.” If pandering for an R rating were Cosmo’s only flaw, that would be the end of it. But Cosmo commits worse sins: being boring, or simply being wrong.

I didn’t gain anything substantial from this issue. Usually after reading a magazine, there’s something I’m dying to try, a joke I’m eager to tell, or a product I’m contemplating buying.  This time, I had zip, zero, and zilch! Wait, I’m lying, I had a look of disgust.

The Cosmo Manhunt (a feature on the hottest bachelors of 2008) was a major letdown. So if you’re going to this magazine in search of a Brad Pitt, Shia LaBeouf, or Denzel Washington, don’t waste your time. A quarter of the men look like nerds, another quarter look bisexual, the third quarter is just plain ole’ unattractive, and the rest are barely making the cut. What was Cosmopolitan thinking? What’s its definition of sexy?  

Text messaging has taken the 21st century by storm, so it’s not surprising Cosmopolitan touched the subject in its relationships section. “Times U Shouldn’t Text a Guy,” was its take on the modern epidemic. The case I thought to be completely absurd was “don’t text him after the first few dates.” Now correct me if I’m wrong, but after a few dates, you should not only be texting him, you should also know the fate of the prospect relationship.

The Love and Lust department was a complete fiasco. Statements such as “He sometimes says ‘Take it, bitch!’ during sex” and “Sometimes pee slips out while I climax,” just sealed the deal for me. As I read, I just wondered if it could get any more explicit. It did.

Page 110 introduced “Below-The-Belt Tricks.” The column offered information on how to give his package the VIP treatment. “Using massage oil, rub his chest and his penis with the same motion.” Wow, Cosmopolitan readers have to be really talented to do this one!

 “Apply a warming lube designed for sex to his penis right before he enters you” was one of the 75 sex tips suggested by Cosmopolitan to “Bad Girl Sex.” Not only was it (Cosmo) practically gynecological, it dished out some unsafe-sex tactics.

What’s worse – Cosmoporn or Cosmobore? So hard to choose. I just wish I had a third choice: a sassy magazine for women that takes more seriously its powerful place in the women’s magazine market.

 

- Tiffany Alleyne

In Touch Online: Out of Touch

The cover of the October 27 In Touch weekly shrieks “I’m Not Anorexic.” It’s supposedly about the skinny stars strenuously denying that they refuse to eat or claiming that shivering actually burns fat. It might, however, be the magazine’s defensive motto for its seriously lacking website.

 

In late 2008, the magazine industry—particularly celebrity weeklies—ought to have outgrown the idea that giving away content on the web cannibalizes the newsstand sales. But here we have In Touch using web blurbs as mere teasers for its print version.

 

Web writers whet your appetite for the latest news about hot topics such as Bruce Willis’ engagement to model Emma Heming, and the break-up of Hugh Hefner and Holly Madison, of the Girls Next Door, leading you to run smack into a plea to pick up a newsstand copy for a low, low price of $2.99.

 

How annoying. It’s more an ad than a magazine—an uncreative and retro approach to an admittedly difficult economic puzzle. But at least most other magazines have dealt with the challenge in more inventive ways than simply throwing up roadblocks.

 

National Geographic’s website offers additional content, a whole new online addition practically. New York Magazine is constantly updating its varied content.

 

It’s true that the online version of In Touch has some breaking news virtues the weekly print version lacks—video of Zac Efron facing the media on his 21^st birthday. But the website ultimately looks like a pale-dare I say anorexic-imitation of the glossy.

 

Except that brings us to the glossy, which is almost as weak. For $2.99, I get four stories with added content the website intrigued me to buy. It’s more, but barely enough to justify all the promotional hype.

 

The “exclusive interview” with Madison hardly scratches the surface of the break-up, with 16 bland questions. The print version of Willis’ tale is an entire 12 words and two additional photos longer.

 

In general, the glossy does offer more photos, which are undeniably fun to look at. Reader polls of answering “who wore it best” are also an entertaining interactive feature of the magazine. Angelina Jolie is featured on the last page wearing a beautiful golden Belle-esque gown, showing off her boney, I mean bony figure.

 

In the end, that’s not enough for me. For my money or my time of free web browsing- I’ll look elsewhere for my daily and weekly hits of celeb gossip and gazing.

 

-Sarah Haase

 

Game, Set, Match!!!

            The insight to the tennis world is evident from the one word title.

TENNIS magazine is a monthly circulation that covers different aspects of the tennis world. The name says it all. The magazine provides inside glimpses of top players on and off the court, tips on improving your game, and other topics that influence the tennis world.

In Tennis, you can always find advice and demonstrations on strokes or different tips to improve your tennis game. The October issue features tips from coaches, professionals, and former professionals.

For example, Mary Joe Fernandez, a former professional, breaks down an explanation of Novak Djokovic’s drop shot with a play-by-play analysis and pictures for each position.

Another example is the “5 Minutes” column by world famous coach Nick Bollettieri, where he gives steps on how to make your forehand a weapon, instead of an ordinary shot. Bollettieri describes practicing the inside-out forehand, which hits the ball across the court from the backhand side, and also the inside-in forehand that can drive the ball straight down the line over the high part of the net.

“The Complete Player” section also features advice on gear, health & fitness, and questions from fans and players about the rules of the game. 

The magazine’s gear of the month is tennis shoes. A list and photos of name brand shoes such as Adidas, Nike, and K-Swiss are compared and given scores on stability, arch support, ventilation, and weight.

TENNIS provides health & fitness tips, where it shows demonstrations of different exercises that work on protecting your joints.  The magazine displays pictures of single leg balancing and hamstring curls for examples.

As you can see, the tennis service can come in handy when working on your game, but does the magazine cover the celebrity tennis game?

Tennis provides an in depth look at veteran professionals and legends such as Nikolay Davydenko and Steffi Graf, discussing their life on and off the court.

Tennis also adds a little humor in the “Snapshots” section where it adds funny captions to different players during match play.  For example a photo of Rafael Nadal of Spain at the Olympics was captioned, “There may be a place for Rafael Nadal on the Spanish flag someday,” as he was wearing red, orange and yellow.

The magazine definitely caters more to people involved in the sport, whether it be someone just learning or someone on their way to a match point victory. TENNIS is the ultimate players’ guide. 

Check out the website www.tennis.com .

– Skylaur Morris

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Radical Design

Smart, sleek, and sexy, Elle’s design makes you think you’ve been on a fabulous diet. Its professional but still cool style can appeal to readers in any age group. The book is like an avant-garde collection coming down the runway—unique and stylish.

Elle’s design has a certain sensibility that radiates a particular style, and delivers huge quantities of images and information without clutter or confusion.

The display-type font looks modern and feminine – the sans-serif equivalent of the magazine’s own chic image. Using it in almost every layout might get old, but the designers find new ways to use it each time.

The “Meet the Machers” article is in “Elle’s Power List” department, and this month it portrays great women in Hollywood. The design plays off the thin font by using long rules to break the writing into mini-columns. Each actress honored in the spread is featured in her own respectively slim column, and photos of some actresses are placed in separate columns—weaving the design together nicely.

Sticking with the slender theme, Elle uses a grid system for the fashion merchandise pages. The design would have looked like some expensive clothing had erupted up on the page, but the graphics team cleverly placed a barely-there grid behind all the fashion spreads. The intent is conscious—but the result is smartly subconscious.

Simple and clean lines can cure any graphic disaster. So now the reader won’t get dizzy trying to pick out a particular item.

But even when the grids aren’t there, they still are. Invisible, but evident, the grids line up fur items evenly so the reader doesn’t confuse furry coats from shaggy dresses.

Everything Elle—that is everything minus the ads—is done neatly and in new fashion. The reader doesn’t get lost trying to find out what hair product or eye shadow to use. Every page has a scheme and every scheme is interesting and fresh.

Risky business is what it’s all about in Elle’s design. Not scared to use up space and do something new, Elle blows up images of boots, bags, stunner shades, and bling watches. These items are sprinkled throughout six pages, making the accessories department pop out.

Elle’s design is not a race to see how much can fit on one page. It’s a puzzle, but the kind with oversized pieces so that it’s easy to put together. Everything is there for a reason, and everything just makes sense. It’s not design overkill, or underkill—it’s a job well done.

 —Danya Shaikh

Caution: Dangerous if Figured Out

We all want to save the world, so you have to like that about the November/December edition of Adbusters. Its artful essays on what’s wrong with the world connect with readers’ own frustration with the state of affairs. 

The magazine plays into its anti-advertising, anti-corporate sentiment with its slogan, “Take More Risks. Live More Dangerously.” The Adbusters Media Foundation, which owns the publication, says it aims to “topple existing power structures and forge a major shift in the way we live in the 21^st century.”

But don’t expect any enlightening columns on how communism would solve the global hunger crisis or how goods would flow in the United Stated under an alternative economic system. You won’t get much from Adbusters other than slogans.

It’s not that I have a problem with the concept of danger. It’s just that when you’re out to topple financial systems, I think you need more substance.

The “live more dangerously” slogan reminds me of a classic Skittles commercial. There’s this adorable kid whispering in your ear, “Taste the rainbow.” Sure, it sounds great. And I’m not in the business of disappointing little children. But I don’t know what the hell a rainbow tastes like. And frankly, neither does the kid.

Maybe Sarah Lazare was trying to live dangerously when she wrote a narrative on a protest against the G8 – the group of the seven countries with the most powerful economies and Russia.

The problem is that protests against the G8 accomplish little other than a temporary catharsis. The G8 is not even an organization. This BBC article says it has no headquarters, budget, or permanent staff. Lazare’s two-page essay is on a protest against eight very different countries. I’m sure it was a unique experience and I applaud the outspokenness, but it fails to engage any real problems that affect real people.

With already-starving countries bracing themselves for the looming devastation from the global financial crisis, essays like Lazare’s are a wasted opportunity for Adbusters.

The magazine could use more of its resources and talent to give readers the tools they need to fight the injustice and despair that they document in their essays.

The world is in need of answers, and Adbusters contributors know that – they clearly have a knack for catching despair and suffering. But upon flipping through its pages, readers who share their frustration with the “system” get little direction – other than to live more dangerously.

-Ricardo Ramírez